failures.

Do you ever find yourself in a rut?  A deep pit that you habitually fall into, and you can never seem to escape.  Do you ever feel like your failures outweigh your successes in life?  Today has been one of those days for me.  
 One thing after the other today.  Running late this morning, no time for coffee, boys acting up in class.  Lord, I do not want to keep failing; I do not want to be in this rut any longer.

How could I have gone through the entire day not once whispering Your name in a humble, quiet prayer.  I know I cannot be everything I need to be without You.  Why then do I insist on living my own life?

Lord, give me the humility and courage to daily ask for Your unfailing strength.  Be my strong fortress that I may hold on to.  I desire to be Your choicest servant.

Sorrowful Felicities

"It seldom happens that any felicity comes so pure as not to be tempered and allayed by some mixture of sorrow." - Miguel de Cervantes

Felicity.  A word that is more typically used for a girl's name than a common noun.  Felicity is a time of happiness such as getting married or achieving some great feat.  It is that time of exuberance when you finally think, "I've done it" and you are truly serene and joyous at what you have accomplished.  But is it really true what de Cervantes says here?  Can we have a time of happiness in our lives mixed with sadness? 

Imagine giving birth to a child.  You feel so incredibly blessed that God would give you, of all people, a little precious bundle.  You are so proud of that little one but then at the same time you are humbled that God would give you something so beautiful.  Then imagine the baby getting sick.  The baby is so sick that he is literally staring death right in the eyes.  The doctors aren't even sure if he will make it through the night.  Your feelings of love and adoration for the baby haven't changed, yet you are sorrowed about the baby's health. 

This is what de Cervantes was speaking of when he made this quote.  There is felicity in a baby's birth, yet there are also feelings of sorrow mixed in the felicity because of the child's poor health. 

This is felicity mixed with sorrow.  A seeming contradiction, yet it happens to us almost everyday.